out and about and online recently (and a subscriber-only book discount)
some thoughts on spring + a secret sale code
first things first, a fun little thanks for subscribing to this newsletter: my publisher is offering subscribers 20% off all pre-orders of You Have a New Memory! Use code MEMORY20 at checkout, exclusively on the HBG site. thank you for being here and being you.
i used to write off spring as a fool’s season, too easy to love in any meaningful way. beneath that dismissal was a deep well of sadness: a conviction that i was not someone who deserved simple pleasures. i was too crass to be a bunny or a lamb, dumb in the wrong ways. i looked bad in pastels. and what if i did love spring—what if i submitted myself to something everyone agreed was good, and it was not good to me?
i think that same conviction is why i sometimes perform an act of low-stakes self-harm by denying myself emotional experiences—avoiding whatever movie or book or song because i know it’s going to make me Feel Something. what is that? that creative death drive used to haunt me, like everyone else was a genius artist who was constantly in conversation with everyone else’s genius art, and i was stuck inside at recess. i guess i’m just sharing this to marvel at how shameful and corny and thorny it is to really enjoy anything.
it’s not without horrors, but overall, i’m having a nice spring. jasmine season was short and early, but orange blossom season rages on. i had my first white claw of the year last week and it was better than i remembered. (classic black cherry, though i’ll drink any flavor except lemon, which tastes like hand sanitizer. if i say yes to lemon, call me an uber.) i go out less often than i like, but i think that makes me more interesting when i do see people. i’m recording the You Have a New Memory audiobook in the next few weeks so i’m re-reading the manuscript and circling all the words i don’t know how to pronounce, which is actually quite a few words because i was a weird lonely kid who learned most words by quietly reading them.
here’s what i’ve been into lately:
pauline anna strom’s trippy celestial melodies
“the bureaucratic nightmares of being trans under trump” - grace byron for the new yorker, a resonant exploration of a horrific regime
taking 2 days to respond to emails
companion (2025) - a fun campy not-too-deep HBO horror flick, “good for her” vibes
clockwatchers (1997) - in particular the opening monologue, and in even more particular, the timing of the opening monologue
the assessment (2025) - not to be “no one is talking about this” but i saw the assessment like a month ago and it was really good? and no one is talking about it? so many tropes that should feel overdone (midcentury future aesthetic, dystopian malaise) but managed to stay surprising and haunting. idk if it’s still in theaters
strawberries + the third-cheapest dry white at the wine store
x aiden
